THE BOY ON THE STAIRS

By Jörg Fitz/Kunga Dorje, 2004

THE BOY ON THE STAIRS

A FEW DROPS OF DEEPLY EMBRACING AFFINITY CONSCIOUSNESS OR CONSCIOUSNESS OF BELONGING

He sits there dejected on a staircase outside a house. Alone and collapsed, with his forehead resting against hands that motionlessly support his drawn-up knees. (See footnote 1).

He gives up. Gives up hope. Hope of being empathetically seen in a significant way. He has long felt left outside, lost, forgotten, imploded, dying. He gives up his grasping on life.

He is probably only 11-12 years old, but vibrates with a spiritual energy that is thousands of years old. These chords are not easily registered in the conventional world. They surround him embracingly. His aura is like expanding rings in an ocean breathing in the endless and in itself motionless Consciousness of Reality. But, this aura is now imploded.

People pass by him. They avoid his appearance as a human and, unconsciously, his less visible aura. Yes, most do not even dare to linger with their gaze on him for more than a few seconds, if even that. This is now quite understandable, if one considers the events from an intimate position in the house a bit behind the boy, from where most of the present observations have also been made.

The boy's all-encompassing field contains condensed mirroring consciousness that reflects scenes from humanity's suppressed collective layer of store consciousness. Some of these scenes emerge very clearly and almost fountain-like during a period. This occurs when a mature middle-aged Spruceforestdweller bearded earthling with ageless radiance gently approaches the boy and sits down next to him and gently and tenderly places his one arm around the boy's shoulders.

It takes a while before it all begins, before the dream image cascades in the boy's mental world start to manifest, as a consequence of the visitor's presence. Passing earthlings with heartfelt openness can perceive glimpses of them. Before the inscrutable Spruceforestdweller´s arrival, the boy is in a state between life and death and has already a fleeting openness to an existence beyond these cyclical dimensions. The basic chord of his dejection is partially composed of liberation from grasping tendencies to want to remain in current living conditions. His consciousness is thus already set to travel away from the current bodily dwelling, and his collapsed sitting position resembles a residence about to be abandoned. Only an almost imperceptible breath indicates that he has not quite died yet.

In the boy's current consciousness, dying mostly implies a change of journey... from being occupied with present existential conditions, he is now attuned to what is coming. At this stage, when breathing is so subtle that it can no longer be registered with our usual perception, there is often no turning back to present life. The boy's farewell process has almost reached this point when the Spruceforestdweller comes and sits beside him. Had another hour passed, the boy's consciousness would have been in conditions and a direction of movement that lacks the prerequisites for return. The boy is in a state where openings in his consciousness are momentarily united with naked and non-cyclical awareness. Other cyclical mental spheres are still related to individual consciousness. Most embrace - more or less consciously - collective worlds at various levels of existence. All these spheres are everywhere and simultaneously both inseparable and distinguishable, something one can only clearly see when clear and non-dualistic consciousness is present in perception.

The fatherly earth-friend sits for a long time next to the boy and holds him without saying anything. A long time. A very long time. Our Spruceforestdweller himself is embraced by a naturally humble and empathetically patient compassion that radiates heartfelt feelings of belonging. If one can manage to open up to the significant events behind the pine-like bearded earthling's unwashed vagrant facade, one can see how tears continuously flow from his enigmatic midnight-gleaming full moon eyes. In these, short and clear dream images are freely emanated, depicting among other things lighthouses, multi-spectral mirrors, polished jewels, and light cascades consisting of such subtle rays that they can no longer be easily divided. If his tears were to drop into the earth, presumably unfathomably beautiful flowers would grow there with jewel-ringing love chords. His tears contain such concentrates of loving and significant compassion that they radiate a translucent blue crystal-mirroring mother-of-pearl gloss that can probably make divine bliss appear as a cute, yet still indolent, snoring.

Suddenly the boy breathes in - like a universe starting it´s becoming. It looks like an awakening before an awaiting potential multi-layered rest. His protector gazes down at him. When the boy, perplexedly blinking, begins to open his eyes like a newborn and meets the gaze of his embracer, gates to worlds that most on our earth as well as in divine and many other worlds keep away from are opened. During the first awakening period, spiritual manifestations are released that contain sufferings that can hardly be mirrored with conventional language. The second period welcomes other states, which are also difficult to depict with ordinary symbols. These worlds are composed of, among other things, meaningful freedom, deeply heartfelt belonging, insightful empathy, and significance consciousness.

The scenes spontaneously born in the conscious space when the boy awakens are overwhelming. The views include, among other things, children from all parts of the world who are abused, abandoned, ignored, and rejected. Countless symbolic representations and chords dynamically mirroring and expressing the sufferings children experience come flooding: 

terror in countless contexts

variants of pain

feelings of loneliness

confusionexperiences of being outside

being denied the desire to live

being chased away like vermin

being gassed to death as if one were a harmful bacterium

being mutilated

tortured

humiliated

sadistically

tormented

perversely exploited

imprisoned

excluded

slowly killed

etc., etc. 

The variations of suffering are countless. There appear people who are nailed to crosses to be tortured to death. People executed in electric chairs. Living people, like You and me, who are beheaded. Parents shot before their children's eyes. Mothers who have their hands cut off for taking a few apples for their starving children from a rich person's garden. A man who kills his wife in a bathtub to show his lover that he prefers her. Palestinians killing their neighbours, Israelis killing their neighbours, Iraqis killing Turks, Chinese killing Tibetans, Chechens killing Russians, Americans killing Vietnamese, Africans killing Africans, South Americans killing North Americans, Spaniards killing Indians, earth-dwellers killing earth-dwellers, people destroying incredibly precious human lives, people simply taking their own lives. All these barbaric dream image manifestations arising from the liberation of repressed layers in our collective layer of consciousness, our shared collective karma, now appear in the boy's world of empathy as the boy awakens to life again thanks to the presence of his precious Spruceforestdweller friend.

The boy harbours the essence of human sufferings and possesses an extraordinary capacity. He sits there on a dirty staircase of a house in a metropolitan suburb somewhere on our earth. Many refugees from different countries live here. Our dear boy has witnessed numerous cruel acts. However, he himself never succumbs to such acts. This despite his neighbours, "friends" and relatives constantly doing so. The boy's courage reaches unimagined proportions during his upbringing. He already understands as a child the suffering of mothers giving birth, of people dying, of Moroccan prisoners sitting in a dark cell among cockroaches and rats until they die. He empathetically understands the sufferings of people taken hostage by terrorists. He understands the sufferings of naked Iraqi prisoners with a sneering soldier girl standing above them with a cigarette dangling from her arrogance painted mouth in front of the camera. He also sees the sufferings that this soldier girl will experience when she one day starts to wake up and realize the extent and consequences of what she has caused and contributed to the world she herself is a part of. The boy understands that her sufferings will be manifold worse than the sufferings she inflicted on the humiliated prisoners under her militarily superior proud feet.

The boy also sees the quintessence of typical human defenses. Not just the afflictions of criminal persons, but also the hypocrisy of socalled virtuous and religious people or military personnel. The boy has realized the barbarism of religious wars and similar acts of madness that are often retrospectively rationalized and proudly-blindly called heroic campaigns or heroic deeds, but which are actually often brutally acting out imperialistic desires. These in turn derive from - if we phrase it in a civilized adult manner - being a coward who does not dare to look into and understand the significant meaning of responsibility. One does not even cultivate the elementary courage to soberly observe and examine cause-and-consequence principles. One throws around expressions like "you reap what you sow", but never scrutinizes the underlying meaning, instead using the phrase mostly to further blame someone's already miserable situation. The boy also sees the infernally anxious suffering of paranoid beings seeking to destroy everything that might threaten defense against recognizing the "enemy's" attitudes as aspects and creations of one's own psyche.

The boy thus understands that all earthlings who unreflectingly accept the killing of other earth-dwellers are tragically dulled from their true chords and potentialities. They are thereby ignorant - in both individual and collective respects - of the consequences of their actions and attitudes. We repress the insight that existence can occur thanks to our mutual interdependence. To fight for "autonomy" and independence in a generalizing way, as too many on our valuable planet do, is like trying to make one's own tree grow while seeking to isolate it from earth, water, and sunlight.

Of course, the boy is also familiar with human sufferings beyond defenses. The despair of not being appreciated, loved, included in a community, having needs met, or being helped. He is acquainted with the accompanying spiritual pain of being ostracized, isolated, abandoned, forgotten, and in states related to these torments.

The boy insightfully experiences humanity's sorrowfully unenlightened levels of existence simultaneously with being aware of its potentials. He sees that they could all be Buddhas in the making or even fully awakened beings, and thus could exist with significance-consciousness in indescribable richness, meaningfulness, and wish fulfillment.

Finally, our boy can no longer endure. He has experienced too much destructiveness, suffering, and ignorance. It became too much even for an unusually brave bodhisattva being. He is too young and alone, lacking support and help. Eventually, harboring all suffering becomes too dark and condensed for him. The boy gradually depletes his resources, which have been used as counter or transformation means for humanity's shadowy backyard storage and waste fields. To productively process and transform this, all of us humans should be involved - preferably with significant awareness. Most of us do not truly want to find out what happens when we die, what occurs with our consciousness and subtle energy, and what conditions the rebirth processes. The means by which we keep these insights away from ourselves are numerous, strong, and inventive. However, few dedicate themselves to meditatively familiarizing themselves with the significant elements of human being's conditions. This is not even done by, for example, many "experienced" psychotherapists who even analyze our psyches. It is not done by several doctors who often deal with dying patients. It is not done by many priests who present themselves as paragons of virtue and in all manner of skillful ways desire to display their humility for observation - yes, why not - when one finds it difficult to bear an obscure position - with a properly bowed head in, for example, the wax cabinet of pride's vanity. It is not done by most authors who write many "exciting" and contrived pages about this and that - but very rarely about what we humans need to know and experience to develop in the direction of our precious destination: to increasingly realize an awakened significance-consciousness.

All of this and more is exposed in the boy's and Spruceforestdweller's world of experience. Gradually, these manifestations subside for now, and the boy gets a rest while the Spruceforestdweller gives him food and drink while reciting healing mantras and singing enigmatically loving songs that bring tears to the eyes of passersby. Yes, some even begin to sing themselves. They are not even surprised that they have never sung like this in their entire life.

FOOTNOTES

Fn 1* In the book En Oceanfarares enigmatiska strofer (J. Fitz, 2003, p. 22) one can read:

and the Spruceforestdweller invites

his few good friends:

the author and yogi

some “huldras” and other forest beings

and a brave preschool boy

who once had run away from home

and completely on his own searched his way

to the hidden cottage of the Spruceforestdweller.

It is the mentioned 'preschool boy' that this chapter is also about. However, the boy has grown somewhat and become 11-12 years old. He was, when he ran away from his mother and found  the 'Spruceforestdweller', only 4-5 years old. This time, it is Spruceforestdweller who finds his protégé, who was not easy to find either.